"When did the choices get so hard"

There’s a Bonnie Raitt song for aging, and time running out. “Nick of Time” beautifully tells of the transitions of life:

I see my folks are getting on

And I watch their bodies change

I know they see the same in me

And it makes us both feel strange


No matter how you tell yourself

It's what we all go through

Those lines are pretty hard to take

When they're staring back at you


Oh Oh Oh, scared you'll run out of time


When did the choices get so hard

With so much more at stake

Life gets mighty precious

When there's less of it to wa-a-a-aste

Planning Ahead

It’s hard to see our parents age. It’s harder still to think of them, truly envision them, as incapable of caring for themselves. And, perhaps, just as hard to think of ourselves in that manner.

Planning ahead, though, is really an act of kindness – to yourself and to your family.

Whether you are the aging parent or the child of one, this inevitable life transition requires thoughtful discussion. 

In my discussions with my older clients, the subject of end of life care is thoroughly examined – even if they weren’t planning on it. When elders tell me that their children will care for them in their old age, I always ask: Do your children know? In some cases, they say yes. In which case, I ask them if they’ve discussed it with them.

Interestingly, the idea for some that their children “know” they’ll be caring for mom and pop in their aging years is really an assumption, something their kids should know! In others, they have discussed it. And when that’s the case, my question would be: have your children discussed this with a financial advisor? 

Do your children know what the emotional and resource burden will be? Do they know if you have the funds to pay for the medical care, the hospital bed, the space in their home if you need to move in? Are they prepared financially? 

I’ve had clients who didn’t want to dive too deep into the financial aspects of their long-term elder care because they didn’t want to reveal to their children what their inheritance might be. But the inheritance can be separated from their long-term care plan!

In fact, if you don’t have a long-term care plan, that’s the very reason you need to talk about it with your kids. This avalanche is coming your way.

Make plans to:

  • transfer or gift wealth to your children or descendants
  • prepare your heirs to be ready, willing and able to manage this wealth
  • handle your medical decisions if you’re unable
  • Ensure your finances are managed if you’re unable
  • Have sufficient funds to provide for the medical care you may need

Nobody likes to dwell on the possibility of negative events. Even worry-warts prefer to not worry. Addressing the possibility of the worst things happening to your children, may be a blessing if it happens. If you’ve planned properly then you have an emergency fund for you, which then could be used for your kids if you don’t need it. In that eventuality, you would need to revise your plan for you, but most people I know would easily switch their direction if their grown children came into great need. To be in a position to do so would mean that you did some good planning and stuck to it so far. 

The many moving parts of your estate – business, heirs, real estate, philanthropy, investments – need to be orchestrated in concert to maximize your legacy and reduce your loss to estate taxes. This requires significant inter-disciplinary expertise to realize the benefits and avoid the pitfalls. Planning Network Partners is dedicated to examining this and other opportunities as part of a larger picture of your whole financial health. 

Contact Us today for expert assistance.